I have become nothing more than a burden.
No one seeks my company. And my paranoid, pessimistic mind happily concludes it is because of my unappealing personality. An over-thinking, cynical, emotional wreck. A lost cause. Cannot be helped.
No one finds interest in me, anymore.
I have, over the course of my life, been exposed to deep emotions. Euphoric ecstasy to deliriously depressed but now my melancholy has become a casual tender tragedy. It is a subdued, lasting pain like having a sharp knife being slowly drawn over the outline of your body leaving subtle scarring lines. It eats away at your sanity.
I have never felt so lonely.
I am travelling in three days. My insane mind always questions the possibility of losing all means of communication and existing for myself, and only for myself.
Society sees me as an over exaggeration. A hyperbole of human emotions.
I wish I was normal. At least ‘normal’ according to society’s perception of me.
I crave for someone to talk to me. Not only listen to my melodramatic whining but actually talk to me. Tell me I’m not alone and talk to me of moments in their lives when they felt overjoyed, when they felt jealous, sad, angry. When was the last time they cried from laughing so much and when was the last time they couldn’t breath from crying too much.
I care too much but often get told I don’t know how to care.
I want to feel loved again.