One Day at a Time

Life is transient, and

It’s meant to be so.

There’s a spectrum of feelings

We are blessed to feel

Joy, grief, pain and relief

Bliss, peace, harmony and agony.

And each feeling passes

None permanent.

We love and we lose

We give and we choose

We learn, and learn, and we learn

And we grow

And we don’t stop

Life doesn’t stop

Once it’s started it keeps going and rolling

… and drags you along with it

We were happy together

You are happy now

And I’ll be happy too.

One day at a time.

 

Grief

I could write a million pages
No blank spaces no page left blank
And I still wouldn’t be able to
Capture this grief.
To feel cornered and looked down
To feel so small and so powerless
To feel so much but do so little
And to know that I deserve all of this.
To be caught in between
Understanding, and refusing
To be glad, relieved
Or to be exhausted from sadness
To be at the lowest point
And sometimes being able to see
Past the horizon – light
But the days are so short and nights
So long.
To struggle.
To have given so much, and gained so much
Only to know it has to end.

An Ode to Words

When they turn their backs on us,

I’m grateful I still have you

to keep me company, comforted, warm

You move yourself, and organise yourself

You give structure – to yourself and to me.

You can break me, and my god, you really break me sometimes

You tear me apart.

But you also make me smile, at times

And you lift me up and out of darkness, sometimes

But you are honest

and I appreciate that

Your presence, in whatever form,

will always be better than an absence.

You let me know what they’re really thinking

Feeling, though sometimes it’s hidden

Unclean, impure, cloudy – at best.

But that’s okay. Thank you.

I turn to you

When they’ve turned their backs on us.

Kind Of Love

Hush now…

You’re too loud, so noisy

Just calm down and take a hold of yourself

breathe, 1, 2, 3, 3, 3

Hush.

You play out sequences in your head

with no rhyme or reason nor intention

just treason

to yourself, your body and soul

separat(ing), dis-integrat-ing, crumbl-

ing.

hold it together, man!

don’t let love overcome you

love should empower you

so long as it’s the right kind of love.

then maybe,

you’ll find peace.

I manifest

In my head

A little game now

Of how long, how much

Can I last, can I go on, can I

Manifest and grow and breed and sigh;

I can’t.

Start to realise the craziness of living inside my head, a neurarrium

A whole world in my brain

Complete with its own life forms and ecosystem

It rains and floods sun shines and droughts

Waves crash and sand blows

You

A different version of you

Lives in my head; I think

And it frustrates when reality hits.

You’re special but you’re normal you’re perfect but oh so annoying

Why do you appear perfect

The broken kind of perfect which is perfectly broken; perfectly

Out of shape.

You fit, in

But you’re, taken

I live in my head

And I manifest

A perfect you.