Truth

In everybody’s eyes I am the enemy

Or so my mind tells me

Paranoia strikes, can’t block it

History repeats repeats.

-

Truth is relative

hard to understand hard to accept

but must, it’s a must

my truth, your truth, different truths.

Understand that.

-

Plagued by a black past and a vision of a bright future

bright future comes to present and goes

black past stays black.

Truth.

-

Who to turn to when hopeless

Find hope in words, in spontaneous overflow

Hope within? None.

Numb self with world distractions

do work pay bills smile be a good person.

-

Truth?

my truth, your truth, different truths.

Understand that.

Sounds from above

Click clack clack
Sounds from above
Heard at 5:22 in the morn
A mother prepares breakfast
For a family still sound asleep
The only thing that’s alive at this hour
besides the rumbling air conditioner behind me
and the constant buzz of electricity that keeps my monitor
shining its bright luminescence illuminating the smoke that my hot tea gives off.

Simple Craving

I have a craving.

It’s simple,

but not often can I satisfy it.

My craving.

-

I want to feel human

I want to feel another human

I want to reach out to a stranger and dig in

I want to slice open the tiniest of cuts and push myself in and under their skin

I want to slide smoothly to reach the deepest core of their soul and who they are and what they’ve experienced.

I want someone to tell me their stories.

It’s simple.

Spontaneous

Asleep beside me

and asleep behind me.

Windows down,

wind rushing past

winding, bending roads.

Music.

Loud.

Sing, shout, scream

in the early morn.

In front of me the Earth rotates, spins, orbits

a gradual show unfolding of hues and colours and smells and emotion.

Asleep beside me

and asleep behind me.

I am awake.

Meet Tira Misu

 

I got a new pet! and it’s a hedgehog. She’s only around 2 and a half months, and is the cutest thing ever. (I still prefer a cat any day but still). She’s really naughty though and always tries to escape her enclosure. I’ve woken up maybe four mornings in a row having to frantically look for her behind the fridge, under the bed, in the shoes and other dark and cozy places (to sleep). She’s gorgeous though.

 

 

Please Malaysia

I have been living abroad, out of Malaysia, for most of my life. I have been raised amongst many different people and cultures, and have gotten the fortunate chance to get to know many of them in depth. I have travelled and seen their countries. I have been lucky, and I am grateful. Now, looking back I realized that with each year of living abroad, with each country I visited and with each person I became friends with, my love for Malaysia and pride in being a Malaysian grows immensely.

Last year, I came back to further my studies here. Whilst many of my friends went to the UK and US, I was genuinely happy to have the chance to return home and live as a citizen of Malaysia. I looked forward to seeing Malays, Chinese and Indians living harmoniously. After all, that was what I saw every time I came back home for a few months. But I was naive, and the reality was not such. Although the people live in peace day to day, the government had never treated them equally, with fairness and justice. I did not know anything about politics, especially Malaysian politics, and I had always been against the whole thing, the whole institution, simply because it’s almost always full of liars, corruption and greed. But I heard many stories of unfairness in Malaysia, and they were not trivial, they were not things that I could ‘unhear’ and forget about.

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I witnessed the General Elections. The whole nation seemed to be buzzing with energy, ready for change. I was excited, though not of a legal age to vote, I was of age to think for myself what is right and what is wrong. I was happy to see so many people come to vote. Now, I guess, even though the opposition didn’t win, we saw the highest number of voters our nation has ever seen, and we saw the collaboration of the races, and young blood being passionate in the future of our country. But we are also now being ruled by the longest serving coalition government in the world. Many feel cheated, defeated. Many feel that their votes have been made redundant by the corrupt and power-hungry government.

Please Malaysia, don’t lose faith. We need to revive our nation and make the spirit that was alive yesterday, omnipresent. This is our country, and we have the power to make it one that we can be proud of.

Alone

Today I was alone.

I realized today,

that everyday I am alone.

Today I was alone,

and no one knew where I was.

Today no one knew where I was,

but maybe no one cared.

Today no one cared where I was,

because nobody asked.

Nobody asked where I was today,

but today I was alone.

I realized today,

That everyday I am alone.

Transition

We were in a state of transition

A short fairytale bound to be neverlasting

A moment prolonged in terms of days

And weeks and months

But was never destined for permanence.

-

We were prone and inevitable to change

Brought about by the hands of time

and travelling, wandering feet of desire,

Swept by the wind, those hours danced away to a fading song

Never had my feelings been so wrong.

-

“She’s perfect. She’s just like me!”

“I like you” she thought not about one, but two

Nights spent with her in my arms,

long drives in traffic jams listening to our music

now replaced by a cold, infrequent “Oh hey there”.

Smooth

tender she was

her skin her touch her grace

so smooth

i have yet to meet another

to whom i could honestly declare

as the most beautiful

i have ever met

and such is a pain

the most heart numbing

apathy inducing

for she loves another

what i see she does not see

she saw “a future with thee”

and she did not mean me.

 

Paranoia

paranoia is a word too often

too perfectly used

to describe who i am

awareness at a maximum of the words

talked around me like

a violent whirling tornado too fast too loud

too much force

reckoning

i stand in the middle

admiring, dissolving, fading

succumbing to a world of doom created by my own mind

i am my own enemy

undefeatable

what do they talk about

in this language so foreign

words sound so harsh

and laughter sounds sinister

smiles are masks

and eyes are ever so aware

then again, do i really want to know.